We are in different places, but your W sounds a lot like mine from an emotional/needs standpoint.
If we get in an argument, for example, she'll get really upset and ask for some space, so I'll not contact her, and she'll so badly want to see me, but she just can't get past the conflict, and finally, three days later, she'll call me, and ask me to come over, and hug me, and ask me to spend the night.
I could be wrong - but your W sounds very similar if you substitute space for divorce. She wants you, the comfort of you, enjoys the hugs and the closeness, but thinks she's still good enough on her own.
I think the difference in our cases is that my W got "let go" - she started taking care of herself financially, emotionally, etc, and ended up several thousand dollars in debt, had two car wrecks and got her insurance canceled, had a very brief A with a nasty guy, and ended up waking up one day and saying, "Holy shnikes, I have screwed up my life so bad."
Dunno. THAT is what I think is missing in your scenario...
