Hi all. I'm new here.

[2ndTimeHurt]

Being dim gets easier over time, it takes the pressure off of her but it also helps to relieve your expectations because you're not hovering over the phone and computer all day watching for her to contact you. It's OK to talk to her if she calls/ texts, just don't seem too anxious. The rule of thumb is sometimes respond right away, sometimes wait an hour or two, and sometimes (if it's not important) don't respond at all.

I think I'm following the rule of thumb ok.

What makes things hard for me is that I've adopted a new way of thinking that contradicts going dim. At least I think it does. I've learned to be "kind" anyway. People will think you have ulterior motives.... Be kind anyway. With that being said I often do things out of respect or kindness. I think it's respectful to respond back as soon as you have a chance. I've stopped responding back to her while I'm on a ladder at work, but I will respond back.

Anyway, I think being dim right now is the best course of action for me. My friend says I need to give my brain a rest from her.

Thanks for responding As. I really respect your advice.