She came to breakfast this morning. No invite from me but she just came on her own. Breakfast was nice and pleasant. She then told me if I wanted I could drop my son off with her to go swimming. I said I could join you guys but then she states she doesn't want to do family time right now because she's looking out for me. Doesn't want to get my hopes up, yet she comes to breakfast with us.
I told her i have hope regardless of the situation. I'd rather try and reconcile with us being friends though. We'll see how the next week goes. Patience....
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
Still being dim. I can see that she is acting a bit different. My friends say she is playing head games, but is very bad at it. Haha. She asks what I'm doing but I just tell her I'm going out. She will say things that she knows will get me jealous. I'm not going to go into details about our few conversations, but it seems that going dim is doing something to her. I'm not exactly sure what but it's something. I'm trying something different.
Today she texted me about scheduling. I couldn't respond because I was working. She then calls 5 times back to back then proceeds to leave a voicemail saying exactly what her text stated. She even called the house. She claims she was worried about me. Usually I respond as soon as I can but I was actually really busy at work. I called her back(she said to call back instead of texting my response) agreeing to her terms of scheduling. She then started talking about random things and seemed really cheery. There were a few times where the conversation was going to end but she kept talking.
My plan is to keep as dim as I can for a week then figure out a new gameplan. I really want to have a conversation about her not wanting to spend family time together because she thinks it will get my hopes up. My concern is that I want our son to actually have family time.
It was nice talking to her today. Man, being dim like this really s*cks. I'm doing everything I can to get my mind off of her.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
Being dim gets easier over time, it takes the pressure off of her but it also helps to relieve your expectations because you're not hovering over the phone and computer all day watching for her to contact you. It's OK to talk to her if she calls/ texts, just don't seem too anxious. The rule of thumb is sometimes respond right away, sometimes wait an hour or two, and sometimes (if it's not important) don't respond at all.
Being dim gets easier over time, it takes the pressure off of her but it also helps to relieve your expectations because you're not hovering over the phone and computer all day watching for her to contact you. It's OK to talk to her if she calls/ texts, just don't seem too anxious. The rule of thumb is sometimes respond right away, sometimes wait an hour or two, and sometimes (if it's not important) don't respond at all.
I think I'm following the rule of thumb ok.
What makes things hard for me is that I've adopted a new way of thinking that contradicts going dim. At least I think it does. I've learned to be "kind" anyway. People will think you have ulterior motives.... Be kind anyway. With that being said I often do things out of respect or kindness. I think it's respectful to respond back as soon as you have a chance. I've stopped responding back to her while I'm on a ladder at work, but I will respond back.
Anyway, I think being dim right now is the best course of action for me. My friend says I need to give my brain a rest from her.
Thanks for responding As. I really respect your advice.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
Lol. This is very ironic (if I got the definition right). Any follow up to this friend confrontation?
I think I'm dense right now. What friend confrontation are you referring to?
Your fiancee's friend who wanted to leave his wife only after 6 months of marriage. Your post said she was very upset and disgusted and was planning to confront him about it. How did that turn out? Did she have an epiphany?
Me:28 H:30 D:3 M:6.5 T:7.5 BD: 10-27-13 H moved out: 11-01-13 Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
