W came by last night to pick up S11 from my house. Lately she's been bringing her dog in which is a little unusual, before she would just leave her car running in the drive, come in and grab up S11 and leave. But last night she brought her dog in, closed the garage door, came in the living room and sat down. We chatted a while about a lot of different things, it's the longest convo we've had in some time. I asked her how she's feeling and she said her arm has been really bad (the one she had surgery on for the cancer). She went to the doctor and has lymphedema. She is supposed to start physical therapy on Monday. She said she has to pay for it out-of-pocket and then frowned and said she wanted to get a hearing aid, but can't now because of this. It just absolutely broke my heart. After she left I went to take a shower and just broke down crying for the first time in... I don't even know, probably a year. I cried because I hate to see her in pain, because she shouldn't have to choose between physical therapy and a hearing aid, because she's too young to even have that kind of stuff on her radar, because I want to help her but she doesn't want me to. Oh man this is tough, I can GAL and have PMA and be independent and have my own life but I clearly will never be able to just turn off my feelings for her. I hurt for her.
Originally Posted By: Mimi00
I wonder if your W feels that since OM is part of her life the kids need to get use to him being around, thus she invites him in hopes their feelings for him will change w/ time and experiences together.
I'm sure she does think that, that exposing them to him all the time will help them to more readily accept him. I think she started pushing him on them too soon though. All the kids feel very strongly that M is forever. I think if she had waited until D then they might have been more receptive, but I don't think she knows how much it hurts them for her to bring OM around when she's still married to their dad.
