PatientMan - 6th Edition - Acting Divorced

[PatientMan]

And what do you (anyone) think that eight days in she wanted to break some of them (hanging around and talking to me, then asking me for a hug)?

I think that you set those boundaries up for you, so you have to ask yourself if the hanging around and hugs are hurting you. If they are then you need to remind her that you set boundaries.

No, they don't hurt. I like hearing about her stupid day and I loved the hug. And it's good to feel missed. But I stood there trying to hold up my end of the bargain...this is what we agreed upon so I was sticking to that.

Neither one of us likes these boundaries (all of the time), but we both agreed it was necessary: she needs to be okay on her own and I need to detox from her.

And what do you (anyone) think of my reaction to her?

I can't find it, what was your reaction?

It's in this post.

I delayed, showing that I recognized her behavior and request as a breach of boundaries, but eventually gave in because I was just watching her suffer and I know how that feels. It must have taken a lot to - only 8 days in - ask for a breach of boundaries. Not major ones, but I was standing there for the two instances (talk, hug), and I could just FEEL how much she was hurting. It was hurting ME.

But that's why I told her, "If giving you a hug sets you back, then I don't want to give you a hug. I want you to be okay." I would rather her be sad now and finally get better, than get her fix now and prolong the problem.

And she only made it 8 days?

BTW, she seemed good last night when I saw her, so that was good to see.

I was being awesome.

-PM