Boundaries with WAS's are tricky. Usually they're related to what you're not going to let the WAS do versus what you want him to do. IE, you can set a boundary where you refuse to let him yell at you, and as a consequence you can tell him you will leave the room, or cut contact with him for a length of time, or even file a restraining order. That's an enforceable boundary.
But if you want him to do something- mow the yard, fix something, or in your case take care of the kids, it's hard to set an enforceable boundary with consequence for things like that. You know your H better than we do, so let me ask you, can you think of an appropriate consequence to apply if he doesn't do what he says, a consequence that will make him want to do it? Something like limiting access to the kids, stopping him from coming and going in the house as he pleases, or cutting contact with him. Some WAS's would see those things as positive, because they WANT to distance themselves from the family anyway. So those consequences would have the opposite effect for some WAS's. That's why I say it's tricky.
