Heather, I can tell you that a friend of my parents who was depressed used to tell them depression was like a headache that would never go away. Nothing you did made it feel better. He had a great wife, job and kids. I have to believe that your H is depressed.
I know your H probably blames you as mine does me. He supposedly is filing this month because he has realized he has not been happy for a very long time (he has been depressed for several years) and he said there have been things about me he has been unhappy with for about our whole marriage, 26 years. And we dated 2 years prior.
Of course one of my answers is you haven't really been around me for the last several years.
Is your H on any medication or doing any counseling? It sounds like he needs it if he's not.
My parent's friend who I knew very well myself eventually committed suicide. For me, I never knew he was depressed. He was a very jolly guy with a lot of friends. But I guess inwardly he had a lot of demons and my parents were very close to him and knew he was never really happy.
I hope the best for your H. He has to like him self and be happy before he can feel something for someone else in my opinion.
I always thought too that when they have affairs they can't like themselves too much. How could they?
M 48 H 50 M 25 T 27 D 20,18,15 6/11 H filed 3/12 H dropped 4/12 H moved out
