Wife Said She's Done - Pt. 2 ..and Still Hopeful

[labug]

I think it was a good conversation. I'm not sure where you wanted it to go but it turned out to be an honest sharing or ideas.

Scott, my H is back and I still have times I cringe when I think of some of my behaviors in the past. I think there's good guilt and bad guilt. Bad guilt is rehashing the same thing over and over, you're stuck.

Good guilt tells us, I screwed up, I need to change this behavior.

Your good guilt, (you know you screwed up and are hopefully using that info to change behavior)is turning into bad guilt because you keep recirculating it. Accept that you're gonna feel this for a while, maybe a little bit of it forever but vow to change and continue working on it so you don't repeat the same mistakes.

You could even say to yourself every time you feel that cringe, "I feel guilty because I _______ but I am changing that" and then let it go. That gets you out of staying stuck in the guilt by focusing on the changes you are making.