Forgiveness

[subguy]

Hi Wonka...Forgiveness, wow a great subject and one that I have wrestled with a lot. I had a hard time knowing what forgiveness looked like, how should I feel, how should I act etc.

I obviously have a few thoughts on this subject:

1. I can forgive and still feel the pain of the situation. I thought for some reason forgiveness meant all the bad feelings would be gone.

2. I can forgive someone and not condone their actions. I thought that I would have to condone or " be okay with" the situation.

3. I can forgive someone and not like or want to be their friend. I thought we would have to be buddies again and go pick flowers in the park together or some other kind of nonsense.

4. I can forgive someone and never speak to them about it. Again I thought we would have to be best friends after forgiving.

5. I have to forgive many many times. I thought it should be a one and done thing. I find myself having to forgive a lot and that is okay.

6. It's hard to forgive someone who constantly is stabbing me, for me the trick is to distance myself and allow the bleeding to stop then move into forgiveness.

7. Forgiveness is not instant... huge one for me. This is a choice I make every day. When those feelings (anger etc.) come up, I have to recognize them for what they are and choose forgiveness. Sometimes I have to stop and say out loud, Lord please give her all the things I want: peace, joy, purpose in life and I forgive her because I am forgiven.

Those were some of the misconceptions I had about forgiveness. So far it's working for me. This is a process and I recognize my part in this and eventually I will completely forgive.