New here, similar stories to everyone else...

[juliegayle]

Just got caught up on your sitch. I am sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to a lot of your story.

I had/have a hard time with the detaching/letting go while living in house with a depressed and angry WAS. It took a long time for me to figure out the letting go was really about me. Letting go of expectations about H and about myself. Letting go of allowing the things around me to control me. At first it was a mind game. H would say something mean and I would tell myself "Ok that was mean but that is just his opinion. I know that I am a good person. I am not going to be bothered. It must su@k for him to be in such a bad place that he needs to lash out etc etc"

After a while I found that his anger and negativity was happening around me and not to me and I didn't need my self pep talk anymore.

You have a lot of good things in place to help with stress and PMA (working out, meditation, therapy) keep it up!!

I hear you about giving your kids the stability. My s has severe anxiety and H coming and going and staying out all night has really not been good for his mood.

I feel I need to be a stable factor. I agree with Mr Bond. Your GAL activities don't always have to take you out if the house. I had gotten really into vegan cooking before BD but gave it up. I started experimenting again. It relaxes me and I am having fun again.