Dealing with Uncertainty...

[NeedingMore]

Hey Groov,

I stopped in to check on you too...just posted on your thread! Things with me are going well! I am signing the lease on my new place Friday! I am so excited! No more 1 1/2 hour commutes for me. I haven't seen my BF since before New Years...and I can honestly say that I am shocked to see it has been weeks. I haven't even been paying much attention. I think it is weird that BF and I have this texting relationship...but as DBing goes, I have released the old R and having no expectations in this new territory we are exploring. I started school again...a new term that is, am working a lot and in different positions in my new job which is cool. I have my kids and am moving soon...so I honestly haven't had time for much. In the past, BF has contacted me when I go a little dark, and over these last couple of weeks, I have changed immensely and gone dark without tying. We have had minimal contact and went nearly a week without contact. This is the longest we have gone without contact in awhile so I was thinking that he was over it! Then after 6 days he texts me and says "Hi Beautiful, I miss your face". I didn't respond...not intentionally, but I just didn't and a few hours later he texts again..."a lot". I responded and he said he wanted to see me which I declined. Then he asked to plan something for this week. I told him I would let him know when I am back in town...which is today. I texted him today to tell him I would be here tonight if he was free. He said he was working and then planned out the day for us to hang out together tomorrow. This is all important to note because this is the first time he has planned out anything for us since we spilt up that wasn't totally orchestrated by me. I usually put out the effort and he goes along with it. My attitude has just really been if it works out to see each other great. If not, no biggie. And that is how I truly feel. I think what has happened is that I got through a difficult grieving process for our old R...and not I am content and proud of myself for doing all that I could do to preserve what we have and not make it any worse. So, we will see how tomorrow goes. BF doesn't know I am moving back..it will be interesting to see how he reacts and whether he will see that as a step in my moving forward with my life. I know I won't know if he does necessarily, but it doesn't matter. I was so worried about moving back in together for the longest time...now I have a place for my girls and I and if he wants to be back in my home, he will let me know eventually! If not, I am happy and proud to be back on track in life! Wow, I can really go on and on...sorry!

I will post post-date tomorrow!