Stop poking the bear. You keep pushing and you're going to get something you don't want.
Have you actually read DR or DB yet? I know you said read the first chapter, but have you finished it? All of these behaviors your H is going through is detailed in there.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I don't know how to completely let go with him and this sitch in my face all the time..."
You do so by not totally "letting go". You just detach yourself from the things he does. That's why GAL is very important. YOU concentrate on you for a change. In fact, you didn't need to initiate those texts. You're doing that all on your own. You have control over that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I gave into it because it was eating away at me. What do I do with that? Swallow it?"
Swallow what? He wasn't doing anything.
It eats away at you because YOU ALLOW it to. You are the one who CHOOSES to concentrate on it. You can just as easily choose to concentrate on something else. Again, GAL. It doesn't mean that you need to go out or party and drink, etc. It means doing something (anything) that gets your mind off of your situation.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Well, he was/is moping around being depressed and angry with the news of the delayed bonus. I mean do I swallow my feelings and yes, my insecurities about what's going on? In this example, the nagging feeling that his depression was linked to the potential delay in divorcing me.
But yes, I get your point. It just always so in my face. His withdrawness, coldness, unhappiness... I don't know why I try and bring anything up - it's never the response I am hoping for.
I texted my friend the text conversation I had with H and she said "are you surprised by his reaction?" And honestly, yes, every time this stuff comes to a head again, I guess I'm like, "wait, we're still here?" I don't know why.
He's getting ready to go out and drink with a divorced friend...
Me, 39. H, 35. 3 boys - 13, 11, 9 - 1 w/ multiple disabilities BD Dec 2012 Sort of a quasi in-house sep Nov 2013
But I am trying to GAL. I have started working out with my friend - every day - which he gets annoyed at. He typically goes out most weekends, so I have to watch the kids... But I plan on claiming this Friday. I really don't have time for anything else other than the working out. I am seeing a therapist... But if I were out of the home more, I feel it would negatively impact the kids.
Me, 39. H, 35. 3 boys - 13, 11, 9 - 1 w/ multiple disabilities BD Dec 2012 Sort of a quasi in-house sep Nov 2013
