Me 15 months on - standing - detaching

[hotwheelsaust]

HWA,

In my case, I never did acknowledge the OW. It is about you and the W. The key thing in your interactions with W going forward is friendly and cordial. She's made her choice and needs to live with it for a while.

The main focus is rebuilding your relationship with your sons. It is about making them happy, feeling valued, and being able to trust you once again. What does that look like to you? Dig deep and you'll see the answers right inside you all along.

Thanks also Wonka. I understand what you are saying and it is quite a good way of thinking/doing. The only time I mentioned the OW to the W, was when I asked about the relationship way back in June. Nothing since then. So I will play it that way, no acknowledging of the OW.

With regards to the sons, yes that is my focus. While I felt that I was valuing them, I accept by talking occassionally about the W, I was devaluing them instead. So no W talk (I have mentioned that already). The trust and happiness I believe will come from showing them I value them better by doing no W talk. I already validate them as much as possible, let them know how proud I am of their achievements. While I have always been talking about having my head held high in this sitch for the boys, in all honesty, I haven't shown them that attitude. So now I need to.

Thanks Wonka.

Laurie, will put the reply or no reply on here.