Result: killed my libido and made me a zombie. This obviously affected our R. By the time I got off them, the damage had been done and he had started to detach.
How long were you on them?
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He became someone who he has admitted he is not proud of (a lot of lying and doing stupid things).
I too would like to know what these things were, are you talking about an affair, overspending or what? These are things that might tell us if your H is MLC.
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He gave ILYBNILWY speech this summer, I did slight 180's- he admits he saw improvements but too late.
They ALWAYS say it's too late. Every reconciled LBS has heard that from their WAS at some point.
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My 180's are: show tons of affection and become the pursuer. He literally told me he NEEDS me to show him affection, and he wants me to call, text, email, etc. BUT, is that really what I should do?
Normally it is definitely NOT what you should do, in fact it's the opposite of what you should do. However, your coach may advise differently. DO WHAT YOUR COACH SAYS! The coaches are better at getting into important details with you in a short timeframe and will tailor their advice to your specific sitch. We try to on the forums as well, but coaches can cut to the important details in minutes on the phone while it takes hours or days of writing back and forth on the forums.
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I have a DB coach- H says he wants to work on US, but we have not defined what that means, which is a problem. Right now he is hiding- working almost 18 hours a day to avoid having to really be in his own head. This will become a problem down the road, because I'm afraid he won't make any progress due to the avoidance.
Yup, I agree with you. If he commits to really working on things, MC is a must. We also recommend Retrouvaille (Google it) a lot too. But he has to want to go!
