Remember: He's the one who "left", he's the one who needs to come back.
I love this and trying to keep this in my focus. The problem is that he doesn't see himself as the one who left, really. Or the one with the problem I guess I should say. He's quite solid in the fact that he "is a product of" what I made him. He's broken and changed as a person because of my 100% cold, neglectful ways for our entire relationship. Not because of the mom who abandoned him as a teen, or the dad who physically abused him. He keeps telling me that I made this monster and "you reap what you sow". He will, on occasion, apologize for a specific instance when his behavior is bad or over the top - but for the most part he is filled with cold, dark anger towards me. Doesn't even acknowledge some of the violent anger of his we've had to deal with over the years (not violent to me or the kids, but property and items) that may have contributed to some of MY withdrawal.
I feel like it's not a coincidence that this started right after a bad visit with his mom and step dad. I was out of town and wasn't there to deflect or defuse. He hasn't spoken to his mom since....
Anyway, how do you handle being the brunt of all that is wrong in the world?
Me, 39. H, 35. 3 boys - 13, 11, 9 - 1 w/ multiple disabilities BD Dec 2012 Sort of a quasi in-house sep Nov 2013
