So you wanna play with magic

[Whiterose]

I can completely understand what you're both saying and agree, in part, with you both. I don't discourage encounters with their dad, when H calls I pass along the message, every once in a while I'll ask if they've spoken to their dad recently but do not force the situation. Both boys need to do what feels right to them and H, as the parent, needs to figure out his new role all by himself.

When S14 woke up I said "your dad called" "why?" "To talk to you" and left it at that. When S19 got up he said "dad wants to go out tonight but we're waiting to see if S14 want at o come" I said I knew and that I had told S14 dad had called. S19 called out to S14 (to ask him) and I stopped him and said "your brother knows your dad called. It's up to him to respond. Don't get involved". S19 has a way of doing that and H relies on it. Not sure what will happen but it's up to everyone to make their own decision.

Honestly, H did this to them, and H is the only one that can undo this for them. And by undo I mean work to build a relationship with his boys not meaning he has to come back to me.