Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

AS, Thanks for the thoughts!!

When talking about my W losing her income. That is just being aware that I need to have a plan in place if this happens.

Being involved in the gym is a very good thing, she has lost over 70lbs in about a year. Only problem is it take time and dedication which is what she is doing but I don't think she is looking for job very hard.

I work out and still work 40-50 hrs/week. My progress at the gym is slower than hers because I am doing other things(bringing income to the household) besides just the gym. I still have lost 35lbs and I am pretty happy about that. If we were still together and S never happened this would be a totally different story. We could overcome a job loss together and things would work out.

The reason she goes to the gym so much also could be a possible A. No concrete proof but signs sorta point to it. I am choosing to let it go for now till I have a better handle on this.

The "mooching" comes in if she loses her income source and doesn't honestly try to find work. She has passed up opportunities to go back to a previous job but the commute time would affect her time at the gym.

I am "taking" the fact that she has more free time than me but I just don't want to be taken advantage of. At some point shouldn't she want to bringing in her own money? After all she thought I was controlling in our M. With me paying the bills is that not controlling the situation?

You are correct that I don't know what she is going through. A couple months back she did mention that I have no idea how lonely she was after I moved out but she had our dog at least. Our dog then Passed away and she said that she was lonely all over again but I wasn't in the house. so it was worse this time. I tried to validate her feelings. I think I did but it didn't change anything.

Now that I have moved back I feel I just have to observe what is going on and act from there. The only problem is knowing how to act in a certain situation if it comes up so that I don't push her away any further than she is already.

I just wish she would at least talk to me a little . Not about the R, not about her life or my life. Just normal everyday small talk.

I mentioned to her that my Uncle is pretty sick on Monday she said she was sorry to hear I said thanks. This morning I mentioned my Aunt had to be put in a nursing home to recover and I got nothing.

These are family members she cared dearly for just 8 months ago. I'm not looking for sympathy here just keeping her up to date on people she loved or maybe still loves idk.

Maybe I am taking these instances a little too personal but my W has never been an uncaring person to anybody, not even strangers, so to have her act this way is a bit surprising and I won't lie it makes me angry. I know she distancing herself from me but still her actions are a surprise.