I know you really want them to have a relationship...but your son is old enough to determine whether he wants to deal w/his father or not.
Well....I kinda disagree with this. I think you want to do what you can to preserve some kind of relationship between them, because the burden of having a parent you don't speak to is a detriment to your son.
My ex was a teen when his parents divorced. He and his brothers sided with their LBS father and cut their mom out of their lives. The father encouraged this behavior. Ten years later I encouraged my H to have some contact with his mom, and they have a nice relationship now. One brother finally contacted her in his 40's. The other brother is in his 50's now and hasn't spoken to his mother for over 30 years. The burden on him and his children is much greater. (Incidentally, my ex's mom was a WAS, but to be fair, my ex-FIL was a very very difficult man to be married to. From the outside, I'd say 50:50 responsibility for the demise of that marriage.)
