Yeah, I have researched it a lot too and A/D's are scary stuff. They affect each person differently, and the long term consequences are a big unknown. I was on them a few months after going through severe depression post-BD and they helped me immensely, but I couldn't wait to get off of them. My W is scared to get off of them, I talked to her about it but she had an experience where she didn't get her scrip due to an ice storm and she went without a few days and got a little crazy. I tried explaining to her that it was because she quit cold turkey and you have to ween slowly off of them instead, but she would not even talk about it. According to articles out there A/D's are wrecking a lot of families, but the medical community is turning a blind eye to it. It's too big of an industry to mess with.
Anyway, unfortunately that is outside of our control. So we DB- we do 180's on our mistakes, we make ourselves into spouses only a fool would leave, we learn to live with our sitches and make the best of them. And we hope our spouses emerge from the WAS fog some day.
Good, well it sounds like you're doing the right thing regarding your D's. Your W will notice you being a good father and she will respect you for it, so it's win-win because you're building a stronger R with your D's too. Hopefully over time they'll start visiting you more. Your W has probably put a bunch of garbage into their heads about you, the best way you can combat that is to show them the loving father that you really are. Deeds trump words every time, so they WILL see your actions and forget your W's negative comments.
