OT sure as heck raised some points that I completely missed yesterday. I was drinking scotch while writing to you???
Do you even know why they terminated your services and decided to go with another firm? Is this why you were asking me that question? Because you're afraid to find out?
I think that might be the best first step to making you better about the situation. Knowledge is power, and you can't change something if you don't know there is an issue.
If you haven't done that, this is how I would coach you to do it:
"In order for me to grow and become more successful in my career, I'd like you to be completely honest with me as to why you terminated my services and went with a competitor. I haven't been quite clear on the reason and would very much like to know."
Then zip the lip and listen.
THEN, depending on whether or not you feel their explanation credible and acceptable,
"I'm really uncomfortable training my replacement, as it is a competitor. I'm not an employee training my replacement, but an independent contractor. My methods and work ethic are my own trademark, and I don't feel like this is something I can do with a clear conscience."
Uh, now that I think about it, I had to do this with my moonlighting job at the volleyball club last year. I was their bookkeeper for 7 years. One of the new BOD members decided that one of the coaches could do my job. He asked me to devote 3 months to training that person (who I very much like and who remains a friend to this day). I told him, "No, thank you. I'm a trained bookkeeper and he's a civil engineer. I can't train him to do my job in 3 months any more than he can train me how to be a civil engineer in 3 months." He accepted my request and we terminated then.
And I felt good about not being the nice guy at my expense.
You seem like a person who is itching to grow and learn. It often requires moving out of your comfort zone and to say no when it isn't good for you. IMHO, this is exactly one of those circumstances.
Thanks to OT for ringing that bell...
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
