If the wife loses her source of income in a few weeks, I will have to pick up the financial slack.
"If" implies that currently she still has her income, and that she may or may not lose it? I'm not sure I'd worry about it until it happens.
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She is very involved in the gym that she goes to.
What is it about that that bothers you? WAS's all push away from the LBS, that's just part of it. They isolate themselves in different ways. Some party and drink the nights away. Some climb into OP's bed every night. Some go on wild spending sprees. Frankly getting involved in a gym sounds pretty good compared to the alternatives.
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While I need to pick up more of the bill paying to keep the household running. My W for lack of a better term gets to "mooch" off me sort of. If we were still together this is not even considered a problem.
While you both live under the same roof there's going to be blending of assets, I wouldn't consider it mooching unless she's not contributing anything.
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But since we are technically S. The wife gets to do whatever she feels like, Gym two times a day, food, possible A, roof over her head and I have to take it.
You don't have to take it, you can move out again. But if your overall goal is saving the M, I think you need to stay put and learn to accept things as they are for now.
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I understand from reading DR that all the work is on me. I have been doing all those things. IMC, GAL, 180's, How then am I to handle a situation where all these possibly aren't working or won't work.
GAL and 180's are as much for you as they are for saving your M. Even if you don't save the M you still emerge a better person, and more prepared for your next R. As for whether they're "working", you have no way of knowing. Most WAS's don't recover slowly. Just like it seemed like a switch was flipped at BD, so it often seems when they come back. It's practically an overnight change. They can be cold and distant and uncaring for a year and then suddenly they talk your arm off for 6 hours about how they've changed their minds and want to work on things. It's very unpredictable.
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It just seems like right now my W is not having to deal with any of the consequences of being a WAW.
You don't know what's going on inside her. 7 months after BD my W seemed completely happy with living on her own, but then she disclosed to me that she was crying in private every day because she was hurting and confused. Don't assume your W is enjoying being a WAS, she probably isn't.
