I had a littlish break through this morning. H often loses stuff when he drinks. He "falls asleep" wherever and stuff falls out of pocket or off him. I would always drop whatever I was doing and help him when he was frantically looking the nect day. (I was told this was enabling and not letting him suffer any consequences). Before BD he was grateful for help. After it just made him mad.

Before BD I would also say things like "well if you weren't drinking" and "I can't believe you lost x that you spent so much money on. "

This morning I did none if that. I just went about my morning. The breakthrough is that I didn't have to tell myself. .think..don't do that...dont say that.. it was a few hours later that I realized how different that small moment was from hundreds in the past.

Maybe some of the changes are starting to stick.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15