Final phase of losing wife?

[FloydMan]

Take at deep deep breath. you can only look bad and look insensitive if you rail on her during this time in her family crisis....and otherwise anyway. They can get very very cold indeed and unfortunately it may and likely will get colder...especially through litigation. She will be processing many many things through her grief. A grieving stage will also include anger so that anger may be thrown your way too, so prepare for that and let it go. It is hard....I struggle with this every day.
As far as the timing on the L letter, it was probably prepared and ready prior to your FIL's death so it was in the works anyway. Curious to know why it was sent to you and not through your counsel. Her L should not be dealing with you directly and here in Canada anyway it is inappropriate for her counsel to directly engage with you if you have retained counsel. Don't be bullied. You will do great. Stay strong for yourself and your boy. She is for herself.