PatientMan - 6th Edition - Acting Divorced

[PatientMan]

*SIGH*

I haven't yet posted about the boundaries we put into place, but more of the same erratic behavior from her last night. She got home from work when the kids were starting to get ready for bed (showers, cleanup, etc.). She's talking to me and I'm just listening and slightly engaging, but trying to respect the boundary that this is her house and her space and I don't want her to feel like I'm intruding in on it, which is partly what spooked her last month.

So I'm just waiting for her to take a breath so I can exit, and all of a sudden her eyes well up with tears and she says, "It's really good to see you. I hope it's okay to say that. I miss you." (We're supposed to be creating space for the benefit of both of us.) She goes on to say "I knew once I saw you I was going to start crying."

I was silent and stoic for a moment.

Then I said, "It's okay to say that and I do miss you too. I mean...c'mon...you've been my best friend for 15 years. This isn't easy."

I went upstairs for one last hug from the kids and then went to the front door to leave.

She follows.

After I say, "Have a good night", open the door, and begin to cross the threshold, she asks for a hug.

I just look at her. Physical contact is a slippery slope for us and it was one of the boundaries we put into place.

She says, "I know it's against the rules, but can I really just have a hug. Please."

I stood there for a few seconds, then stepped back into the house and embraced her. She dug her head into my chest.

As we were hugging I said, "I want you to be okay. Not for me, just for you. And if hugs are a setback for you, then I don't want to hug you."

She said that she was fine and she was "getting there", meaning that place where she is okay on her own.

I told her goodnight again and I left.

-PM