Growing a Backbone, No More Cake Eating

[willbwell]

I am in your same shoes. such patience and strength it takes to continue to act with dignity.

its fantasy life for them. no reality.

I wish I could wake up and be 100% done, and I am 2 years in now.
I know how hard it is being the LBS. However, I keep busy and focused on me and kids for now. It is really too bad for h.

[sthelen]

Well focusing on me...I got a job yesterday. the first one since 2002.

[melissag]

sthelen, I don't often comment on your thread, because i don't have any wisdom to share, but thought I'd pop in just to give a little support. ((( )))

Congratulations on the job! I hope it is a positive in your life that helps you move forward and opens up lots of new doors for you.

[3boymom]

Congrats!! So excited to hear that you received good news. When do you start?

[Starsky309]

We don't have any sort of plan, I'll google that.

Our therapist has strongly suggested he attend SLAA meetings but he hasn't done that yet. She also suggested he block her number. He hasn't done that either.

It's been two months; don't you think you should have a plan by now?

Your husband is all over the map partly because YOU are. One of you needs to be the stable rudder in the marriage right now, and unfortunately it's not going to be him anytime soon.

I think the structure of a full no-contact/transparency plan would do you BOTH some good, and allow you to take things one step at a time. Unless and until he agrees to that, everything else is going to sit on hold unfortunately.


Starsky

[sthelen]

I don't want to act with dignity anymore. I want to contact OW and tell her he is also lying to her and manipulating her. I don't think she'd care though. And at the end of the day, she's not the problem, he is.

[sthelen]

My page didn't refresh, that was my reply to willbwell.

Thanks for the congrats on the job. We're still hammering out the details. But I'm excited.

[sthelen]

I googled and I'm not finding any kind of plan. I found no contact letters. Is that what you mean?

[Starsky309]

I could recommend the authors -- even give you links to it -- but it's against TOS here. It's pretty standard "recovering from infidelity" stuff though . . . it's out there.

Try googling "infidelity transparency no-contact".

[sthelen]

Ugh. Also against TOS to message each other or post email address, I guess. I'll try again.