my wife left, but still lives with me

[labug]

Hi TS, I haven't posted to you before but I was reading FloydMan's posts and got a bit caught up in your story.

He's giving you good, solid nuts and bolts advice. I agree, protect yourself financially. Business is business.

Your comment about the other shoe dropping stood out to me because I lived with these fears for a along time, even before BD and it still rears it's head occasionally. It's a control thing as I'm sure you've realized. Do you ever just allow your mind to follow that fear? And is the cause of that fear within your control? I'm not sure it's the questions that causes your anxiety. Is it not having a discussion about the visit that disturbs you?

Congrats on all those years sober! I'm wondering if you still go to mtgs? Have you gone to support group mtgs related to your W's addiction? AA teaches you one set of skills and AlAnon or similar groups, guide you in another set at least that's what I've heard from people who have done both. AlAnon is where you really get the detachment, in my experience.

Best of luck.