See this is where I know I need to work on me so much more. Because some days I feel I don't deserve this, other days I feel that this is like karma coming back, I deserve this for what I must have put the W through.
This! Yes, I do that too. Round and round. Sometimes several times in one day.
Unfortunately for us humans, our minds are capable of holding two contradictory notions about something at the same time, and the internal conflict causes cognitive dissonance. Which cause mental anguish.
Of course, there is also probably some truth to both of these - at least in my case. I fully acknowledge and accept the emptiness my W was feeling that would lead her to look for comfort elsewhere. On the other hand, she made the conscious decision to pursue these actions, knowing the grief and pain it would cause, and then what it was causing. So, there is enough blame to share. We can only work on our own selves - and you know this. As do I, in my case.
We're here for ya - all your DB friends, for whatever we can do to help motivate, lift spirits, console, laugh.... whatever we can do.
