Thanks Bets and Barb for chiming in and having my back. Her email is suspect and really has caught me off guard. I have always considered Marianne a sweet and caring person, so it is hard for me to think that she is being manipulative, but objectively her timing seems more than a bit odd.
In my mind the Sarah situation is a definite long shot due to the distance, however she is buying her ticket down here and I am more than happy to show her the DC area and to also get to know her better. We have had some very good communication online so far. If things go well when she is here, I could see me taking a trip up to Michigan in a month or so for a second visit.
As for the others - I have scaled back the crazy dating cycle I was in. The only other person I am seeing is Julie and we have gone out on a few dates. She seems really into me, although she is still active on Match so for all I know she is into several people which is fine since neither one of us have discussed exclusivity and I won't until I Sarah's visit. Once that is over, I'll either break things off with Julie, Sarah or both. I also took my Match profile off line (hidden) before I left for Florida and I have no intention of starting it back up anytime soon. I need a break from all of it.
Hey, sometimes absence really does make the heart grow fonder, as they say. I never bought that "friend" b.s. from the start. But, people make mistakes and she's obviously owning the issue BUT you still don't know what that issue is. If you want to give it another shot with Marianne then why not...as long as you can get a fix on what the issue was because in my experience these issues raise their ugly heads more than once. If you feel that it's just not right, then pass. It's certainly not abnormal for couples to break up and try again...I speak from experience! Good luck, oh mighty robo-dating machine.
I have to agree with the girls. She feels all of this now because she sees you dating others and feels she is losing the BA that was for a while at least, pining over her. I would see how things go with the ladies you are currently dating. And just food for thought, women sometimes really do know how other women think.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
OK, that's the female perspective. Now for what the inquiring male mind is wanting to know in order to aid you in making this crucial decision...will she put out?
Oh Good Lord! BA, She's a 'bag of nuts' and run, run, run! The female voice on here is totally correct. Don't get me wrong, you're a great guy. But, we all want what we can't have. It's just the way we are wired. Best of luck with the others and if you need to, take a break.
As for me.... The tale has turned a bit. Dave is showing a 'clingy' and 'needy' side that I don't really like. He buys me things and wines and dines me, but the conversation is one dimensional and getting to be boring. He has not had the life experiences I've had. The differences are becoming apparent. My bff and I went snow shoeing on Sat. and she told me that I don't act myself around him. Well, that's not good! He's a terrific, kind, and caring man, but sometimes it's not enough to sustain a relationship.
Ahh...the woes of dating. I feel like I need a break from it all to just be still and see what happens next.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Oh Good Lord! BA, She's a 'bag of nuts' and run, run, run! The female voice on here is totally correct. Don't get me wrong, you're a great guy. But, we all want what we can't have. It's just the way we are wired. Best of luck with the others and if you need to, take a break.
As for me.... The tale has turned a bit. Dave is showing a 'clingy' and 'needy' side that I don't really like. He buys me things and wines and dines me, but the conversation is one dimensional and getting to be boring. He has not had the life experiences I've had. The differences are becoming apparent. My bff and I went snow shoeing on Sat. and she told me that I don't act myself around him. Well, that's not good! He's a terrific, kind, and caring man, but sometimes it's not enough to sustain a relationship.
Ahh...the woes of dating. I feel like I need a break from it all to just be still and see what happens next.
GG - thanks for chiming in and giving one more female voice to this. Based on my yesterday, the whole dating stuff is simply a stress I really don't need right now. I had a double life whammy yesterday.
First, I learned that my father's kidney cancer has metastasized into his adrenal gland, lymph nodes and spine. They have cancelled the surgery they were going to perform to remove the kidney and will instead start giving him radiation treatments on the spine lesions to reduce their size and hopefully alleviate the pain he is experiencing. The prognosis is obviously not good.
Second, after receiving that dreadful news, not more than an hour later I get a call from my Ex-wife and she has discovered (through the help of D17) that a 24 year old scum of a high school teacher who lives up in New York has been sexually propositioning our D15 via online. He evidently popped up on a gaming site that she plays with a couple of her friends. So police have been notified and confiscated both the laptop D15 has been using and her cellphone. The b@stard's life is about to get really miserable I hope. Anyway, notifying the police and having her cellphone confiscated sent D15 into a full blown panic attack and it took forever to calm her down.
So yes, I think the dating crap is a pretty insignificant part of my life right now and a full break is in order.
Oh, good lord, BA, I'm so sorry about all of that!
Please look into the medical research on cannabis oil and cancer (www.pubmed.com , put in the search terms "cancer AND cannabinoids"), there actually is legitimate researcxh on it and it may be worth a try.
So sorry to hear this news, BA. Many of us know what it's like to see a parent go through this process. My thoughts and prayers are with you in both your family situations.
