While I received great advice, I had to take things in my own hands to "shake things up" with my husband today, as I simply can not take the status quo any longer. I made a mental deadline that things need to start changing by the end of 2013 or I'm done. I've conveyed this to my husband at the end of 2013 and I'm sticking to it.
I sent my husband a text today about how he said it was great talking, that we need to talk more & more and let's talk this weekend (which just passed w/o a text/call from husband). He replied that he drank too much watching football on Saturday and was ill all day Sunday. He said he stopped drinking for a while and said he forgot how to have a beer.
**sigh**
I then sent him a text,
"Okay. As of 2013, I am done with limbo land and the status quo. If you sincerely want to start talking to see how things go, then we need to just do it...and just start talking. LOL Make sense?"
He replied, "Ok"
I replied, "Wow-you are blowing me away with ALL your communication. LOL"
He replied, "LOL. On a call :-)"
In any event, he's traveling right now but said let's talk on Wednesday during lunch. I asked him if he can schedule it on his calendar and he replied, "Ya".
BIG QUESTION:
Now that we are set to talk on Wednesday and I know for a FACT that he's living out-of-state with OW (only suspected it previously) should I bring it up? Or just try to have a "light" conversation?
This is foreign territory...and I'm feeling confused as to what I should do.
I really am done with "limbo land" and the status quo. I would rather head towards divorce than keep living this way - all the while knowing he's living with another woman, in another state - without any ongoing contact.
I also feel he's confused right now and isn't dead set on ending things with me 100% (otherwise I don't think he'd agree to talk on Wednesday).
I also think it helped that he knows I had a mental deadline at the end of 2013 and that's why I went to see an attorney.
To make sure he understood that deadline, I re-iterated that fact to him in my text. LOL
Any advice/suggestions or thoughts/ideas you may want to share would be greatly appreciated. :-)
Bright - I am so sorry you are dealing with a similar situation. Yes, it's so frustrating that our husbands are not noticing any of our positive changes. How can they when they are living out of state and not contacting us?! :-(
Oh, one thing that I forgot to mention above is that I did also text H today that "I am optimistic about us talking more and more. :-)" I wanted him to know that my intention was positive, so maybe that's along the right thinking as far as Law of Attraction goes? Who knows?! In any event, I'm going to try and keep thinking positive thoughts about a good conversation between us. I am all for "whatever" may help! :-)
Portia - I really appreciate the "smart" financial advice. Fortunately, one good thing is that I owned my home before we were married and the property deed and mortgage is still in my name only. I went to see an attorney but he was a litigator and came across very aggressive (which also gave me the feeling he'd be expensive). Yikes. I talked to an acquaintance of mine that suggested a collaborative divorce attorney, so I may go to see her for a consultation. Yes, you are right. We do have to take care of ourselves first. Thank you for the important reminder. :-)
