I have this massive headache from a business trip and I'm looking at a pillow longingly to rest my head right at this moment. But first things first....
Would you feel better if I told you that I still do think about Ms. Wonka's OW from time to time. My thoughts center around two main themes:
1) Landing a right hook squarely on the OW's jaw 2) What is it about the OW that is "better" than me?
When our spouses engage in an A with the OW/OM, it crosses way more than just a line...not that yellow crime tape! Although it isn't too different from that! It is a knife through our hearts knowing that they shared intimacies with the OW, shared their bodies with the OW, mooning over each other, etc. Then what does these above behaviors have anything to do with us? Exactly.
Nothing. Yet in our mind....it feels as if we really are not good enough for our spouses so this "stinking thinking" batters our self-confidence to a point where there's a bright, neon pink "L" blinking on and on right on our foreheads. Not a fun place to be one way or the other.
So our fears of any contact with xOW dredges all of that "yucky" stuff and our insecurities so we seek reassurance from our spouses that we are still quite the catch to them. Silly, vicious cycle to be sure. That is until we can trust and VERIFY that our spouses's actions line up with their words. Then perhaps we can relax and feel safe emotionally with our spouses. Right now, I think you do not feel safe with your W--emotionally.
