I had a realization today that sometimes I need sympathy and commiseration, and if I don't look in the right places for it I tend then to look in all places for it. And I blurt out to the wrong person how disappointed and angry I feel. Maybe the sympathy feels good for a moment, but then I'm kicking myself for not presenting myself as the fully capable professional that I am. I don't want to look like a sad sack, because I want to look like a success...and when I use words that gain me a nice sympathetic look I head toward sad sack. I need to DISCERN where is the appropriate resource for my need at the moment, and get my needs met the right way.
It took me three times of later smacking my head, but I have also now learned to stop telling any friends/family that I'm not making ends meet financially at home.
I learned that what I want isn't pity.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
