New here, similar stories to everyone else...

[WB2014]

So had a good convo on Sunday, initiated by H. Which in and of itself is amazing, because he hasn't wanted to talk about anything R related in a year.

It was basically about why we hadn't ML in the last week and pretty much confirmed everything DB/DR has ever said! On the ML thing - he said he's ridiculously attracted to me but feels like afterwards he feels bad and gets withdrawn/cold because he wants to send the message that even though we ML all is not well. And he feels bad upsetting me when he's being a jerk, and trying to send that message. I told him "first, let me relieve you of this pressure. I am working on just dealing with the present moment and taking each nice moment that we have as an individual event and not a well what does this mean thing"

I said that I wanted to continue to ML because I felt that was a way we could connect right now when we are struggling to connect in other ways. I also told him that I wasn't upset because we had ML and then treated me bad, I was upset because he treated me bad. Period.

Anyway, it was a long, but good discussion and basically we both want to slow things down, appreciate the time we have and not accelerate into any decisions that we may later regret.

As DR tells us - he basically confirmed - he needs his space to grow and just do his thing right now. He said that me giving that to him is the most positive way to effect him. He also said he didn't feel like sleeping in another room was widening our seperation - he felt it made things better, because he felt better, calmer.

We had a nice day after that. Went to Starbucks and Home Depot together and then he made dinner for the family. He slept in the den but I let him do his thing. It's fine...

Anyway, on my phone - not sure if I got all the details, but generally speaking, I felt more positive than I have with us in some time. It reinforced that GAL and the 37 rules are the right path - at least for our situation. I am just going to keep working on me and not getting caught up in the what ifs and what nows and what's next.

I am meeting with a therapist today.