It seems your wife has never gotten this other man out of her system, and the affair has re-ignited. You already have all the confirmation you need ("hasn't done anything wrong" and "sending another man (with whom she's already had an emotional and a physical affair) kisses" ??? sorry -- those two things don't add up).
You need to LOSE THE FEAR. If you can abide your wife continuing her relationship with this man, then don't confront her. If you decide that your marriage CAN'T survive a third person in it, then confront her and let her know that while you don't want a divorce, you're not going to live in an open marriage, either, and you're NOT going to go thru this all over again with her and this other man.
She needs to end all contact with him, and provide transparency to you in order for you to feel safe in the marriage again. If she refuses to do that, then I guess you'll have all of the confirmation you need about her true intentions regarding this other man, and regarding your marriage.
Did she ever agree to no-contact and transparency when you guys got back together, or was it just the big gorilla in the room that was never discussed?
