New to This - An English Man In Trouble

[Hadlee58]

Well it looks like 'D' day is looming this week. After a fairly tense weekend where we both seemed to have lost the fight. We had a discussion last night instigated by me if nothing else to clear the air. I wanted to let my W know that as things arent panning out as we had expected i am taking myself off the rollercoaster and working on me. This isnt a course we can take with me working alone and when she is in a place to want to work on our R then i am prepared for this. She raised a few points:
-This is going to be a great year for her.
-The episode with my daughter proved that i put my family first (ahead of her).
-Our marriage has been a sham from day one, i have been controlling her for the whole marriage.
-On her nannas anniversary last Tuesday (of her death 10 yrs ago) i sent her flowers from me and the kids (she really was a sweet old lady) and that night i toasted her with a drink, my wife completely denies this toasting ever took place and i shunned her attempt to do the same - staggeringly strange that she cant remember this. Again this was unacceptable from me and has hurt her this week like nothing else.
To top this all off my father came to see me at work today.... I had called with the kids to see them yesterday and they obviously know there is something not right as my wife didnt want to come. He mentioned that they are both really struggling with the idea that them not picking the kids up is cruel to them (i must say my mother looked terrible yesterday and has the look of a woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders). I can see how this looks to them and i but i told him as there is no crystal ball he needs to be patient, he took this ok but i think they are adding to my pressure.
Pressure is coming in from all sides today and is getting a little unbearable. I really am at a loss how to move forward DB seems to be far from my mind yesterday/today.....
Apolgies for the garbled message im in a rush to see an unhappy customer, oh the joys!!!
If any one has a desert Island that needs looking after, i am your man

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, whether in the form of 2x4's or told you so's

H