Thanks Heather and Kate. The hardest part for me in all of this has been the kids. They keep me focused and centered though. The help ground me when I start to tailspin.
Kate I get you....sometimes I am able to do that and it can come quite naturally in fact. Other times it feels forced and when it does, I tend not to go through with it.
So the past few days...
I have observed a few things.
H has been responding to texts I sent out. I sent out a text to see what would happen and he responded very surprisingly...and it was nice. This happened twice.
Also, yesterday I found a missed call from him. I assumed he was calling for the kids. Before I could call back, he texted and asked if I could send him pictures of the kids from the summer (even though he was with us..he was not really 'with us' so I guess he doesn't have any pictures of his own). He has NOT ASKED ME FOR ANYTHING in almost three years.
I texted back happily and said yes I will do so.
So what I have noticed is that he does not initiate conversation with me. He is responding to mine. I have not been sending a lot. I have sent a text out twice in the past 4 days; both which received positive responses.
The only other observation I have is that he responded to a text my mom sent him (unrelated to me and him) and his response was thanks, 'I am going to be in your country at the end of the week for a few days'.
He gave her the information and left it at that. So my mom responded with a 'great, we can meet up for even just a coffee'. he said 'of course'.
So, it made me think that he wanted her to know he was going to be in the same country, obviously since he told her, but was a step shy from saying I will come see you. Maybe he wanted her to ask? He does not know where he stands with my mom who also has been hurt by all of this. Last year my mom stopped calling him, saying happy birthday, etc. She started to cut him off.
So thats what I have for now. Do you think I should keep testing these waters with some infrequent texts? phone calls?
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
