still hopeful... no matter where life takes me

[juliegayle]

There is not much new going on here. S and I spent weekend playing with H's new dog.

I know I am not going to do a good job putting this into words but I feel like this dog thing really just puts the whole situation into focus.

I have seen a few glimpses of my old h over the last few days. Friday night we all played with new dog. On sat the basement flooded and he voluntarily left work to come set up sump pump. We have even had a few brief light hearted conversations about pets.

But the reality is that this is a huge example of the selfish way he is choosing to live his life right now. We still share a house and the dog was never discussed. There was no consideration for our other animals. His plan to have dog live in damp dirty basement while everyone is gone all day is selfish.

So basically nothing has changed. H has been less volatile since he accepted the idea of having set nights to be responsible for S. Although we still have not set a schedule and so far he has just claimed a few nights. I wonder how that freedom will be affected by a new puppy.

So I just keep working on me. My assignment for therapy this week is to write out where I want to be emotionally. I will post when I complete.