Oh no, 3. I also have a fear of vomiting . . . gross. In fact, whenever my kids have thrown up in the past (which thankfully hasn't been very often - knocking on wood!) I would hand them over to my H and he would take care of the clean up.
I hope nobody else gets it, especially you! When anyone in my house is sick, I usually walk around with a can of lysol on my belt . . . you can make a little holster.
I hope it's a quick virus and doesn't spread in your house - since today is family day, perhaps H can stay home to take care of S5 while you take the others out to do something fun.
Regardless, you will get through this, and you will feel that much more confident when it's over. Just remember that!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
It is situations like today that make me realize that H is really all about himself. I called him early this morning to tell him that S5 was sick. He did not answer but called back 30 minutes later. He made it seem like it was no big deal to handle all three kids while one was sick. I did just fine but it is slightly stressful. He said that he would bring over lunch for everyone. Now it is almost 1, S3 and S1 are starving and crying and H is MIA. S5 begged to call him and no answer. H knows the kids are sick. What if there was an emergency? He has had a relaxing morning all to himself. H knows I have my hands full yet he is taking his sweet time and is not responsive on top of it. I cannot believe that I will continue to be the actual responsible parent while H claims he is a good dad and is here for them.
Your right M H just drives me crazy sometimes that I lose my head. Figured it would be better to type is out on here than call him and yell like I would have done in the past.
He just sent a text saying that his phone was on silent. Still not here yet. I don't believe him but it won't get me any where to argue. I will put a smile on my face and know that my boys will always know I am there for them no matter what.
Of course by the time H gets here, S5 is much better and is playing (which I am greatful for). H pretty much tells me I am dramatic and overreacted because I asked him if he would be able to help out (when S5 was getting sick hours earlier) when I did not know how long he would be sick. I want to punch his smug face. I am trying to breathe and let it go. I don't know how he thinks he knows everything and that things are so easy when he has never been in this situation before. H was at the mall shopping. Why can't he just say "I know you hate when the kids throw up. Is there anything I can do?"
3-My DB coach told me to try to forgive resentments daily so that they do not build up. This worked really well for me for a while. I'm having a tough time right now, but maybe that will help you. At the end of each day, I would try to take all the bad behavior and remember that my H is in a bad place and forgive. I would remind myself that if the roles were reversed that I would want to be forgiven, too.
(I guess I should take my own advice again)
Hope the rest of you don't get sick! You're a great mom!
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
After our family day with H yesterday, I have been thinking a lot about how I was hurt in our M. Even though my H is not mean, he is very critical. Yesterday was a perfect example of this. While he was not mean or angry, he made an issue out of several things that were not really a big deal.
First, he said that I was being dramatic about S5 being sick and needing help. When H mentioned this, I told him that I could understand why he may feel that way since S5 seemed ok (5 hours later), but did point out that S5 was really sick. I really don't think that I was being dramatic, either. Here was my text: "S5 is throwing up. I will need some help today." I told H that I very rarely ask for help and when I do it is because I really could use the help. He agreed. H said that he was not trying to be mean or critical. I told him that I hope that he could see why it would feel that way to me.
Then, H asked for an old plastic grocery bag. I told him where they would be if I had any. I wound up not having any. H said "You are the ONLY person I know that does not keep those. Everything time I am at someones house and ask for one, they have a million. I have no idea what you don't keep them." He said this in a super condescending tone. I said "H I am sure that I am not the ONLY person that does not keep old grocery bags. Also, how many times do you ask other people for an old grocery bag when you are at their house? I don't know if I have ever asked another person for a bag when I was visiting. I know that your parents keep a ton of them, so maybe that is why you are used to having them in your house. I really don't like clutter, so I try and keep a few. I guess that I am just out, but you can use this bag." Seriously, who goes on a rant about old grocery bags.
During our M, H has always been very critical. It is not limited to just our relationship. H is critical of everything. H is critical first and then may compliment later. For example, H deleted the very first family picture we took with S5 when he was born because he did not like the way we looked in the picture. Who does that? This did not bother me too much for years, because H balanced his criticism with compliments.
Now, all I get is his critical comments. His compliments are few and far between. While I cant have the good side of my H, I am still dealing with the negative side of my H.
I know that I cant change my H. He needs to come to this realization himself. He mentioned during our talk on Christmas Eve that he is aware that he is too critical. Now, I just guess that I need to figure out what I want to do about this for me. Do I want to keep my mouth shut and put a smile on my face, despite his critical comments? Can I do that without letting the resentment build up? Do I say something to H that I want to be able to continue our family days, but not if he is going to come into my home and be critical when it is really not necessary?
I am going to take a few days to think this over. I was so annoyed with H yesterday, that I don't want those emotions to affect how I proceed. Any recommendations?
