I completely agree with what everyone else is saying... But I think it's a process and you just aren't at peace yet. Perhaps you will get there, perhaps it will take awhile... I can sense that you feel like getting the papers was just too early. I'm so sorry. I too feel like I would fight it at this moment - but like everyone is saying, I am not sure what anyone would gain by that nor, do I think it would wake my H up to want to stay with me...
I like what you are saying about living in the present moment. I am working on that as well and I want to recommend a book to you that has been blowing me away... Along with DR, it's been super instrumental in helping me work on myself, "Emotional Chaos To Clarity" by Phillip Moffitt. You can also check out dharmawisdom.org for similar readings on many relevant topics discussed here.
Me, 39. H, 35. 3 boys - 13, 11, 9 - 1 w/ multiple disabilities BD Dec 2012 Sort of a quasi in-house sep Nov 2013
