It's Not Over 'Till It's Over (II)

[melissag]

F4,

I am truly sorry for this turn in events. It seems I am not far behind you, and I am not looking forward to the administrative side of things at all.

I don't know what state you are in - so I don't know what it means to defend the D.

I do have two thoughts to share, though.

1. I struggle a lot with the "irretrievably broken" concept myself. But when you get down to it, if one person believes this is true, and is unwilling to work on the M, then it truly is irretrievably broken, is it not?

2. What benefit is there to you to fight the D? My guess is that you will end up paying a lot more in attorney fees on both sides, you will only aggravate your W, and you will get no benefit. I think it was MLC who used the phrase "lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in someone else's eyes." Isn't that what you would be doing? In the end, if you get D, do you think you will feel better if you fought it or graciously and selflessly gave your W what she felt she needed?

Just some thoughts to ponder . . . we all have our own feelings and need to make sure that we act (and react) in a way that is true to our core values and who we want to be. Make sure you are making these decisions with your head and not your heart, F4.