OMs, cycling, cakes and confusion Oh my Lord ;)

[SM34]

Good point, thank you ladies! Ill watch that from now on.

Any input on how to approach the guy friends?

Gabbysmom I'm with you on affairs and not being sure if I could move forward. Had my wife played all the games that I've seen on here, and lied about where she was, and kept it secret for months or years etc I would not be able to still be with her.

The only reason I am able to put this behind me is that she only talked with OM (no emotional affairs are not innocent I know) for a few days before bomb drop. I confirmed way back at the beginning by snooping that there was no physical contact until after she told me she was not happy with me and was leaving. She was very VERY honest aboit her feelings and never once lied to me throughout this sitch.

When I told her I appreciated her honesty (during our piecing chat) she said that just because she wasn't happy with me, didn't mean she didn't respect me as father of her child and her best friend etc.. and that she would never lie to me and hurt my feelings like that.

So betrayal was really quite minimal in our case. And I'm thankful for that because we don't have to overcome trust issues. I knew she had guy friends, and I knew she talked to them sometimes about our issues, and she told me when she began to have feelings for someone else, and she always told me the truth about when she had seen OM. There was literally zero lieing. And in some ways I have a lot of respect for her for that. As my DB coach said to me, she gets brownie points for her honesty. She is not a liar. So now that's why its critical for me to get through to her about the male friends because that was really the cause of this...

Her unhappiness caused her to not me attached to me, but her friendliness with other men is what caused her to develop feelings for someone else. And her low self esteem is what caused those feelings for OM to get so intense so quickly. Feeling good about herself became worth all the destruction in the world!

So how do I approach the male friends issue?