I have spent Christmas & New Year just trying to make the best of it & enjoying the time I had with my son. It was strange & very different but I did my best & it was OK.
Since then I have spent a lot of time reading & practising living more in the present moment, not dwelling on past or future but accepting the present moment as it is. Also knowing that true fulfilment comes from within & that I have everything I need within myself, I do not need anything externally to complete me.
It has been very helpful & I have begun to find some inner peace & contentment through this practice. I have also then found it easier to detach and give my wife space.
I have still had an underlying urge at times to try & speak to my wife or email her asking questions or discussing reasons we can still make this work etc, but I have resisted & returned to the present moment.
Interactions between my wife have been pleasant but basic, where I have been very calm & relaxed, said little but maintained a pleasant attitude.
I got home from work yesterday to find divorce papers on my doormat, and although in my recent peace & detachment would have hoped it would have been like water off a ducks back, it really wasn't and it has still hit me pretty hard, even though I half expected it.
I would have loved to have been so detached & at peace, accepting what is in this situation but I am still feeling very emotional.
I know some people here might advise against my intentions going forward but I am pretty sure this is what I am going to do:
I plan to defend the divorce. I do not plan on getting a Lawyer, I will represent myself.
After receiving the papers it does fuel my desire to contact my wife again to discuss things with her & makes it harder to detach. It only happened yesterday evening so I am still trying to deal with it & process the reality of it all.
Oh well, It's Not Over 'Till It's Over!
Me: 34, Wife: 34 Son: 2 Married: 8, Together: 14 Wife moved out 8/25/2013 Divorce papers received 01/10/2014
