When we last left our saga, XW had spent most of November and a good part of December moving closer and closer to me. She got "spooked", pushed away hard, which broke my heart all over again...so much so that I told her I couldn't keep doing this with her. It's so easy for me to hand my heart over to her only to have it broken time and time again. The depression that ensues...I just can't keep doing this and surviving.
I had been pondering having a boundaries talk with her in early November, but since she was moving closer and closer to me, thought it would be a bad time to push her away. So in light of recent events I had her secure a babysitter and we went out Sunday night to talk.
It was a good talk and we agreed on a lot. Boundaries were put into place. We need to "act divorced" (like most divorced people) for her to have space to detach from me and for me to detox from her, my addiction. (Anyone who has followed my sitch should know my XW and I have not "acted divorced" at all, which has its pros and cons.)
I'll post some more details of the talk and the change to my sitch, but wanted to keep this first post relatively short (by my standards).
The worst part of the intentional changes we made:
1) I won't see my kids as often, or get as much quality time with them 2) I really just miss my best friend
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Therapist knows my aversion to ADs, but thinks I should consider it.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I don't know, bro.. Sounds like a last ditch attempt. Kind of romantic too if what you meant by 'The Playbook: The Robin' is what I think it is.
Are you Crossing the Rubicon?
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
I don't know, bro.. Sounds like a last ditch attempt. Kind of romantic too if what you meant by 'The Playbook: The Robin' is what I think it is.
Are you Crossing the Rubicon?
Knowing me, no, but maybe. You never know what's going to happen.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
