I know that there are days when this just knocks the wind out of you.
<snip>
This is not easy, my friends. And one day you may not be able to do it anymore. Today is not that day.
UR (and other vets) tell us we will know when we are done. As good as my sitch may look to others here, and even me, I have feelings of being "done" almost every week. It's been two years now since my W has shown me love as a W. I can only take this so long.
Yesterday was one of those days where the wind was knocked out of me. I thought I was done.
This morning I felt better, and decided to send a pizza to W at her workplace for lunch. She called me (which is rare) to tell me she really appreciated it, and was happy that I thought of her. It was genuine. I had a hunch that it would go over well. (disclaimer: doing something like this could easily push away some spouses)
Her reaction made me feel like we still have something, and gave me a little boost to stand.
It truly amazes me that I can go from compassion/love mode one minute, to tired of it all and ready to give up the next. Certainly I'm the first person to ever feel this way.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
(disclaimer: doing something like this could easily push away some spouses)
