OMs, cycling, cakes and confusion Oh my Lord ;)

[SM34]

Sorry it has taken me long to respond. Been trying to stay off the phone and computer and really bond and have a good time with the family.

When I used the word agreed it was something I said or explained that she agreed she had done or felt etc. When I used admited, it is something she said on her own.

But we had an awesome conversation. I know I sound like I was pushing but I really wasn't. I started off by saying that she can go to a therapist on her own, and that a good therapist will "sting". She said yes that she is open to that but in the meantime she wanted me to explain how all thishad happened from what i had learned.

I stop many many times and asked if this was too painful. Even when she was ccrying. I knew the parts about her low self esteem etc would sting and I asked her repeatedly if she wanted to stop. Her response was no keep going, I need to hear this, everything you are saying is right.

So I told her I am now speaking as if I am a therapist not as H. And I lead her, all the while allowing her to tell me why she thought certain events happened, and what she feels her emotions where at the time, and how OM manipulated etc, then I would explain to her the how's of the event and the whys etc from all the pyshology and therapy materials inhad learned.

I basically gave her a crash course in affairs and the personalities of those who take part in them. I then ended the convo although she wanted to go on. I told her that was enough for one night.

So her dr gave her the green light in ML and we have several tims since! Its been awesome. I haven't felt in adequate or like I am competing. I really haven't given it much thought.

I'm actually really surprised that i have no desire to blame or to punish or to make a big fuss. I want her to have learned from this as much as I have. And I want is to be a stronger team. And so far we've been doing lots of couples stuff and lots of family stuff.

Tomorrow night father inlaw is watching D3 and we are going on a date

Ill keep you guys posted. No talks yet, just bonding and getting to know each other again. Still no rings being worn... although facebook notified me that I am again married and that our anniversary is on such a date, and that we met on this day, and that I proposed on this day etc...all notifications have been spread out as she is filking in all this stuff in her profile. She is also reminiscing of better times which is good. All good stuff so far...

After the period of detox from OM, and bonding of us, I need to start the dialogue as to how to make sure this doesn't happen again, and I want her to read 5LL etc.. and we start building a better marriage.

Our finanical sitch is improving too! I'm able to focus on my business and much more productice. Her boss is super happy she got this sorted out and is happy with her performance.. gave her a bonus etc...

Things are coming together!!