When we last left our saga, XW had spent most of November and a good part of December moving closer and closer to me. She got "spooked", pushed away hard, which broke my heart all over again...so much so that I told her I couldn't keep doing this with her. It's so easy for me to hand my heart over to her only to have it broken time and time again. The depression that ensues...I just can't keep doing this and surviving.
I had been pondering having a boundaries talk with her in early November, but since she was moving closer and closer to me, thought it would be a bad time to push her away. So in light of recent events I had her secure a babysitter and we went out Sunday night to talk.
It was a good talk and we agreed on a lot. Boundaries were put into place. We need to "act divorced" (like most divorced people) for her to have space to detach from me and for me to detox from her, my addiction. (Anyone who has followed my sitch should know my XW and I have not "acted divorced" at all, which has its pros and cons.)
I'll post some more details of the talk and the change to my sitch, but wanted to keep this first post relatively short (by my standards).
The worst part of the intentional changes we made:
1) I won't see my kids as often, or get as much quality time with them 2) I really just miss my best friend
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
