I have been thinking about what I want. I have spent three therapy sessions on this one. My therapist says knowing and voicing what I want gives me power and motivation and patience. My friends here have also prodded me to consider that question. Here is what I want:
I want a new marriage to the same woman! I want to experience intimacy and love with her on a level that neither of us knew or understood how to give. I want to romance this woman and experience her and understand her, and I desire that she also provide that for me.
But only if she chooses this. I don't want something fake. If she chooses differently, then I will take what I am learning, take the man I am becoming - and trust God to lead me in new ways.
So I stand at a crossroads. I don't know how long I will stand here. But I see two futures - equally frightening, equally exhilarating.
_________________________ Me: 37 W: 37 M: 11 D:5 S:2 IDLYA, W removed rings, BD 07/13 EA/Fantasy (PA?) confirmed 12/13 W moved out 05/14
