I'm bringing this over from another discussion. It really made me pretty defensive...and I'm trying to figure out if it's because I need to work more on this or if it's because I got defensive when it doesn't even apply to my situation:
"we tell LBSs that they need to have pity and compassion for what their WAS is going through but that advice usually falls on deaf ears. It's so much easier to just blame the WAS than it is to try and understand what they are going through. They are hurting, angry, confused, lonely, etc. All the things the LBS is, but for different reasons."
The thing is, I HAVE been being compassionate, kind, forgiving, loving, giving, and good to my H....at first, I wasn't. But, for the past 6-8 months, I've turned myself inside out to be that kind of woman toward him....and it HASN'T MATTERED to H ONE BIT!
He is still calling me ugly, horrible names. He is still angry and blaming me for EVERYTHING. It can be as simple as we ran out of bread, and the kids didn't tell me so I didn't know...and HE loses it because we're out of bread.
We ALL have to walk on eggshells every darn day because we never know "which" guy weren't going to have that day or what will set him off.
He is a manipulative, mean, liar...and yet, MOST DAYS, I stay kind and nice to him. I do a WHOLE lot of STFU to keep the peace in our home.
Why am I supposed to be having pity party for him??? What if I am trying VERY, VERY hard to do this DB stuff and do what's right and it isn't changing anything?!
