Hey Ang. Wanted to stop by to see how you are doing.
You know, I get how you are feeling.
This is how I felt. I felt it was my life and no one really had a right to an opinion about it. I mean, they can have an opinion, but, it wouldnt affect my decisions.
I stood to honor my long term marriage and the father of my children. I stood because I saw first hand, close up, someone in crisis and I knew that I would have wanted him to stand for me if I was in one.
I stood because I loved him and because I vowed to.
But mostly I stood because it was the right thing to do. Once I decided that it was what I wanted to do, I knew that I had to do it for as long as I could.
I wanted to look back and see that I did everything I could to save my marriage. I wanted to be able to answer my son yes when he asked, (and he did) if I fought as hard as I could for our family. Because that all mattered.
Other people can have feel however they want. They werent walking in my shoes. I had to be able to put my head on my pillow at night and know that I chose to do the right thing.
It doesnt mean you are a fool. Far from it, Ang. It makes you special. It makes you strong and loving and brave. It makes you different than most.
But this should never be done at the expense of you. There may come a time when the cost is too great. Until then, remember that this mattered, your stand. It will matter to your children, to your head and heart and hopefully to your h one day.
Thank you for ALL of this uR. I am really struggling this week...with lots of things. I guess, because things were going pretty well for a few days, I let my guard down on those pesky expectations.
I started thinking, "wow...this is getting better....we're headed for better days. yay!" only to be slammed on Wed. and again today with a very, very angry and confused man.
I'm just so weary of how hard this is. I know it will be hard for a lot longer, and I've got to pick myself up...but for today, I'm just weary.
I'm weary of being told how horrible I am...what a B*tch I am...how everything under the sun is my fault...how he never loved me....how I was never a good wife...how everything single thing I do/say is wrong.
I went several weeks without crying and now I can't stop crying.
I'm starting to doubt myself...and I hate that.
I'm getting impatient for things to just be better...long term.
But it helps, uR, to hear the reasons why you stood....to hear your thought process behind it. Thank you for taking the time to check in.
