2L, it looks like your W lives in her head. She convinced herself that your M is no good and put up a wall. But she continues to do all the things that normal people do. It is like she is in a different reality. I don’t know if giving her more time will do anything in this case. My opinion is that only the realization of the reality what not being married actually means will bring her back into reality. I’m speaking from my own experience here. About 5 years ago I was very unhappy with my M and did the same things your W is doing. I convinced myself that there have to be a better life somewhere and a better H and better relationship. I was also not speaking about my needs expecting my H to know what I needed. So, I pushed and pushed, even talked about the D. My H didn’t fight me on this. Then I discovered that he was actually making plans about separation of accounts, etc. I realized that what I was doing was in my head and I actually didn’t want to end the M. I think it was very confusing and painful time for him. I think that he is kind of paying me back right now.
I could be wrong here, but your W fits the description. I will have to go back and read your sitch.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
