Jon, AS's post makes a lot of sense. Hits home with me anyway with my sitch.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Have to agree with you. There are different reasons for A's so not all the same situations. Some people just have character flaws. Either way, the adulterer owns that mistake. Both own 50/50 on the dysfunction that lead to it. Cannot blame the hurt partner in any way for it he A. 2 psychologists explained this very, very clearly to us both. The adulterer owns the responsibility to make the hurt partner feel safe. One of the most important aspects of that is cutting off ALL contact with other person. Both parties own the roles to look within themselves and work to heal and better themselves. When one won't play along and do their part, then forget it. We had to forget it.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
